


Not His Day

by Lord_Vaders_Slave_Girl



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 23:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11747010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Vaders_Slave_Girl/pseuds/Lord_Vaders_Slave_Girl
Summary: After the Battle of Geonosis, Mace Windu stumbles into the Trekverse. Fortunately he also stumbles into James T. Kirk.





	Not His Day

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally written as a response to a Dare Challenge on the JCF. (Jedi Council Forums)
> 
> The criteria of the dare was as follows:  
> 1\. Main character must do something “normal” that others think is inappropriate  
> 2\. The story must involve a character crossing over between timelines/fandoms  
> 3\. The story must involve hypnotism in some way  
> 4\. Use the word “microcosm”  
> 5\. Bonus points if the story is not total crack
> 
> This is the first story I've posted here, so cut me some slack, okay?

As he started on his way back to Coruscant, Mace Windu was glad he’d chosen to travel to Geonosis in a fighter instead if traveling with the troops like most of the others. He had some things on his mind. Most of the time, he was both familiar and comfortable dancing with the darkness, but there were moments when he found himself dancing a little too close for even his comfort. He’d been caught up in the deadly symphony of battle, his mind slowing everything to waltz time as he dodged the blaster bolts, mowing down battle droids, and more battle droids, and more battle droids. Then he felt it, a living being attacking him from behind. Without losing the rhythm, he swung his lightsaber in a powerful backhand to defend himself, but when he turned on the follow-through, his concentration was broken, and the sounds of the battle changed from a melody to a cacophony, as he saw Jango Fett’s still-helmeted head bounce and roll across the ground to land at his son’s feet. As Mace regained his focus and turned back to the battle, he knew the boy was watching him. And him alone. Even now, he could still feel Boba’s stare burning into him, first shocked and horrified, then accusing. No words were necessary, because the boy’s eyes said it all. “ _Murderer. You murdered him. You murdered my father. And I’ll never forgive you._ ”

Lost in thought as he was, Mace didn’t feel the odd vibration at first. Then he noticed the starlines twisting and swirling in a most peculiar manner. He found that he couldn’t look away, becoming dazed and detached from his surroundings. Then there was a large shudder, and he snapped back to alertness, as the fighter dropped out of hyperspace… into the middle of chaos. It wasn’t a battle, but heavy traffic. There were dozens of ships, in many different sizes and designs, none of which he was familiar with. He was thankful for his Jedi reflexes as he ducked and dodged around and between them, finally managing to navigate into a clear area, where he brought the fighter to a relative stop and took a better look around. He was in orbit of a blue-green planet, which reminded him a bit of Alderaan, but it was no planet he had ever seen before. The traffic he’d had to dodge on arrival was mostly focused around a space station, which looked like a series of domed discs arranged along a cylindrical central core. He had little time to survey the scene, however, because a voice crackled over his comm system.

“Hey, Aurebesh! Next time drop out of warp a little farther out. You’ll save yourself the fancy flying.”

Well at least they spoke Basic here. He answered the transmission. “I was experiencing technical difficulties. I apologize to everyone for any inconvenience I have caused them.”

“If you’re having troubles, you oughta park your ship and look it over.”

“Yes, I should. Can you recommend a safe place to leave my warp drive unit in a parking orbit?”

“There oughta be fine. Bring it on in. Level 17, Docking Bay 102. It’s pressurized.”

“I may need some help to find it. I am unfamiliar with this port.”

“Colonial?”

“Yes.” Mace didn’t care much for lying, but the truth would take too much explaining. It was far easier to let the man believe that his assumption was accurate.

“Alright then. Just sit tight and I’ll send somebody to lead you in.”

A few moments later, a small vessel approached Windu’s fighter, and a new voice came over his comm. “Are you the one who asked for an escort?”

“Yes, I am.” Windu decoupled his fighter from the hyperdrive unit and followed the other vessel. He was led through a pair of enormous doors high on the second dome/disc, perhaps large enough to admit an Acclamator-class assault ship. Inside, the structure was lined with docking bays, both on the outer shell and the cylindrical center core. His guide led him forward, past several large ships, to an empty docking bay high on the core.

“This is it. 102. Force field activates when you set down, green light means it’s fully pressurized.”

“Thank you.” The docking bay was large, spacious enough to accommodate a whole squadron of fighters like his, with plenty of room to spare, but the bay was fully pressurized in less than a minute. The screen in his fighter displayed a comment from his astromech droid, R3-Z2.

**“They have a good air exchange system here.”**

“I noticed. Do you know where we are?”

**“This system does not match anything on any map in my database. So no.”**

“Great.”

**“Being lost is not great. You are being sarcastic.”**

“Funny, Rezz. Run a diagnostic of ship’s systems.”

**“All systems are operating within normal parameters. However, a spatial anomaly of some kind appeared in our path shortly after we entered hyperspace.”**

“A spatial anomaly? Why didn’t you tell me?”

**“It was quite sudden. Detection and collision were almost simultaneous. Nothing could be done. I did not want to disturb your meditation. Was I wrong?”**

“It’s fine. Can you calculate a way to get us back home?”

**“I will try, but my resources are currently limited to the ship’s computer and my internal database. Without more data it may not be possible.”**

“Then it seems I must attempt to solicit help from the locals.”

**“We’ve been together a long time, Master Windu. I may only be a droid, but if something bad happened to you, I would feel terrible. Please be careful.”**

“I appreciate the thought, Rezz, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. Wait for me here.”

**“Yes, sir.”**

  
Mace left the docking bay, and after passing through an airlock, found himself in a large lounge area. From where he stood, he could also see shops of some kind and a food court. Realizing that he was hungry, he started in the direction of the latter. A wave of dizziness overcame him, and he nearly fell. Strong hands caught him and guided him to a nearby chair.

“Are you alright?”

“I think I will be in a few moments. Thank you.”

Mace turned towards the voice and saw a broad shouldered, sandy haired human male with brown eyes that, though kind and caring, also twinkled with merriment and mischief. The man carried an air of authority, as though he was accustomed to being in charge.

“You here for Sci-Con?”

“What is Sci-Con?”

“I guess that means no. Coulda fooled me.”

“I had no intention of deceiving anyone. Now, if you don’t mind, since you seem so inclined towards helping others, perhaps you could assist me with a problem that I have.”

“Maybe. What’s your name?”

“Mace.”

“I’m Jim. Now, what’s your problem?”

Mace thought for a few moments, deciding the best way to explain his situation to Jim without confusing him.

“I was on my way home from a business engagement when I was thrown off course by a spatial anomaly of some kind, and ended up here. As I have absolutely no idea where home is in relation to where I am, it would seem that I am, unfortunately, quite lost.”

“Being lost I can sympathize with, however, spatial anomalies are not my particular area of expertise.”

“Does that mean you cannot help me?”

“Not personally, no, but I know a guy. As a matter of fact, I was going to have lunch with him, and since it looks like you were headed toward the food court, how about you join us and kill two birds with one stone?”

“Thank you. I believe I will.”

They traveled to the planet’s surface by means of a strange device that Jim called a “transporter”, which made Mace feel a bit odd and light-headed. He chose not to let it show, simply waiting a few moments to let Jim go first and lead the way. He was taken to a restaurant, and once inside he felt slightly less out of place, as the décor reminded him of some fashions he had seen on Coruscant. They were met near the door by a smiling, dark haired woman in a high collared green dress.

“Welcome back to Jade Dragon, Captain. Your usual friends already sitting at your usual table.” Her Basic was slightly broken, with a musical accent.

Mace silently appraised Jim as the woman led them to a large corner booth with a round table. Captain. That made sense. It definitely explained the man’s air of authority.

As they approached the table he could hear the two men already there talking. It sounded rather like an argument of some kind, but he couldn’t tell what it was about, even though he could hear what was being said. The shorter man made a sarcastic comment, then leaned back, half-slouching in his seat with a satisfied smirk on his face, his clear blue eyes sparkling. The tall, slender man opposite him said nothing. Sitting straight in his seat, he merely raised an eyebrow, then rose gracefully, allowing Jim to sit down. As he resumed his seat at Jim’s side, it was obvious that he belonged there. In fact, it looked as if he’d always been there and always would be. Mace knew then, as the other man scooted over to make room for him, that these men were not just Jim’s friends. They were part of his crew. When they were all seated, the woman addressed Jim again.

“So Captain, the usual order today, yes?”

Jim’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Do you remember what it is?”

The woman scoffed a bit and shook her finger at him in mock scolding. “Shrimp fried rice for you, Vegetable lo mein for Commander Spock, Teriyaki pork for Dr. McCoy, hot tea for everyone.”

“Well it’s been so long, I was sure you would have forgotten something.”

“Not that long! You just teasing me again.”

“Aw crap, Li. You know me too damn well.”

“And you too damned charming, Captain Kirk. Someday it get you in trouble, I think.” She turned to Mace.  
“And what about you, Mr. New Friend? What you having?”

Mace pretended to study the menu for a few moments, thankful for the numbered pictures of some of the dishes. Though the people here clearly spoke Basic, the script they wrote with was not aurebesh, and he couldn’t decipher it at all, except for the numbers. Finally he looked up at the woman and answered.

“I would like hot tea also, and the #10 looks delicious.”

“Orange duck. Very good. You want chopsticks?”

Before Mace could answer, Jim grinned and said, “What do you think?”

Li sighed. “Heavens! You in a mood today!”

She tapped around on her datapad a bit and walked off.

The group began talking as they waited for their order. At first, Mace was quiet, just listening to the others, but soon the conversation took a turn that drew him in. It began when in response to a comment Jim made, McCoy started teasing him.

“I know, I know. It’s a hunch.”

“You needn’t be so dismissive, Doctor, particularly when we both know that his hunches are usually correct.”

“Yeah, I know…. Say, Spock, I bet I know why that is.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I bet it’s the Force.”

Jim laughed. “Funny, Bones, but I don’t think that’s how the Force works.”

Mace couldn’t help himself. He had to join in.  
“Actually, that is sort of how it works.”

McCoy looked at him with a slightly amused expression.  
“Are you saying that you really think the Force is actually a thing?”

“It is a thing.”

  
“Right. Of course it is.”

Jim gave McCoy a stern look.  
“Bones, you don’t like it when people make fun of you for being a Warsie. Don’t make fun of him just because he’s more Warsie than you.”

Spock was now studying Mace rather thoughtfully.  
“I don’t think that he is a Warsie. I think he’s telling the truth.”

Mace was a bit surprised.  
“You believe me?”

“I believe that you were not lying. I believe that you truly believe that the Force exists.”

“You still have doubts.”

“You must understand that for a long time, the Force and the Jedi and related things have been thought to be fiction, mere entertainment. Accepting that these things are not fictional, but real, is difficult.”

McCoy nodded. “What he said.”

Jim looked at McCoy curiously.  
“Why, Bones? Hell, if Apollo is a thing, why not the Force?”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “Indeed. Why not?”

McCoy grinned. “Well crap, if Spock thinks the Force is a thing, then I guess it’s damned well a thing.”

Just then, the tea arrived. Mace smiled.

“Indeed.” He used the Force to pour the tea. He knew he was showing off, but he didn’t care. He was about to pick up his cup and take a sip, when he felt a tickle in his sinuses. He retrieved his handkerchief from his pocket and blew his nose. Every one in the restaurant turned in his direction, looking down their noses at him. He didn’t understand.  
“Why is everyone looking at me like I’m evil?”

McCoy explained that certain cultures, like the Japanese and Chinese, think that blowing one’s nose in public is rude, and it’s more polite to sniffle. He leaned closer and lowered his voice a little.  
“Honestly, my opinion, both personally and professionally, is that it’s stupid. ‘Cause that glob of snot in your hankie? It’s not just a glob of snot. It’s an entire microcosm of bacteria. So it’s a whole hell of a lot healthier to blow snot out into your hankie than to snuff it back up your nose.”

The food came soon afterwards, and while they ate, Mace told them the whole story. Spock seemed particularly interested when he described the sensations generated by the twisting starlines.

“I could be wrong, but it sounds as though you may have been partially hypnotized.”

“Fascinating.”

Mace was quiet for a while, silently reflecting on everything that had happened to him today. He had killed a man, collided with a spatial anomaly, been half hypnotized by starlines, dropped out of hyperspace into heavy traffic, met people who didn’t write aurebesh and thought the Force was fictional, and on top of all that, he was catching a cold, and he had yet to find a way of getting home. All in all, today was just not his day.

But on the other hand, it wasn’t all bad either, because he had discovered Orange Duck, which was delicious, and made some new friends.

Who he would probably never see again after he got home. Poodoo.


End file.
